An angel sent from above.

The first day of the last month of this year; 2011.

Looking back, so much things have happened.

So much that there's too much to list it out.

But there's just one good thing that I've been thankful for these days, in recent.

I thank God for sending me an angel from above,

just that when I lost all hopes in everything that I'd pinned on,

He appeared in my life,

and that changed my life.

The first time I met Him,

my heart was racing like wild fire,

it kept beating so rapidly,

so much that I could hardly breathe the right way,

and the pace gets all messed up.

My eyes,

they rolled around looking frantically for something to focus at,

so as to avoid those big wide eyes of His.

My hands,

they kept reaching for my phone in my bag,

trying hard to keep it occupied,

so as to distract my thoughts.

My ears,

it tried not to hear the soothing voice of His that amazingly calm my anxiety.

Every single part of me,

felt so uneasy~

but at the same time~

I feel so comfortable with His presence around.

At last,

I fell in for Him, irrevocably.

So much that I was taken aback myself,

how is it possible that he managed to break through those self-defensive walls I built around me~ ??

Just like that,

so easily that it got me speechless.

He's the reason for the smile on my face,

for the tears in my eyes.

He's the one who brought joy into my life.

Because of that,

I stopped having sleeping disorder-insomnia.

Because of that,

I stopped having heart relapse.

For every salted drop that rolled down my cheeks,

He was there to wipe it away,

He was there to love,

He was there to console,

He was there to cheer me up,

He was there to care,

He was there to advice,

He was there to teach,

He was there for me throughout,

not forsaking me,

pushed me away,

sad as I am,

I want Him, nevertheless.

For me,

I saw His efforts,

I felt His efforts,

I was happy,

really happy from deep within,

it's been quite sometime since I could really smile from deep within.

He's one who made an impact in my life,

one who made drastic changes in my life.

I've learnt how to take the public bus,

know my way around unfamiliar areas,

touring around places by trains~

tasted food that I've never did,

tried so many new things,

it was like a whole new wonderful experience for me,

all felt like a wonderful dream to me,

that would prolly not come true after all,

but it did,

however,

the more perfect it might seems to be,

the greater the fear within me rises,

afraid that everything would come to an end.

He's became something that I wouldn't wanna lose anymore,

I've lost too much things in life,

but this time round,

I just wanna be so greedy like never before~

So much that I became so overly obsessed,

I find myself so scary.

I hate myself for being this way.

Deep down,

I really care alot.

Maybe too much for what He might be able to withstand.

Letting things go on the loose,

but everytime I just failed to do so,

I get all worried about Him,

never knew that He could actually meant so much to me.

One that really treats me well,

unconditionally,

one that really accepts me for who I am.

Family?

I've lost it all.

The meaning of it,

is long gone.

Lingering around aimlessly,

is what I'd been doing all along,

silly me.

This time round,

it got me going gone,

never gon' turn back again.

Enough, 19 years~

I've been a puppet for way too long,

too tired to go on anymore in fact.

Right now,

the warmth and love I feel is from Him,

a place where I can call Home.

As the saying goes,

All Good Things Comes To An End,

Evil Always Prevail In The End,

This time round, please let it be otherwise.

I've never really begged for anything before,

all I want now,

is Him.

Nothing else.

Simple life, Happy life, Peaceful life,

enough,

contented enough.